Having a blog is a new experience, although I have come to realize and respect the power and scope of the internet. As long as we have this space, let’s make use of it to share ideas, needs and suggestions. Being able to click on a category will help you wade through my lengthy entries to find what interests you! There is aready a categoty for “Relay For Life 2008″ and for “Coming Events.”

I also added a “Wish List” for things people might be looking for. That could be silver spoons for the Tea Ladies, a long-lost recipe, tents for the Relay or a place to donate usable clothes, toys or electronics. Keep in mind, the classifieds ads are for selling your stuff. I am interested in helping you share; to give away things you may not need but others would use or cherish. Our landfills are piled high with useful things because we are a throw-away society. Let’s help each other, and help our own little corner of the planet!

I am adding “Volunteers Needed” to the list, so readers can see if there’s a place they can offer their time and talents. I hope organizations or events in need of volunteers will log in and let people know how they can help. It may be a one-day event like a canal clean-up or a longer connection, but don’t let fear of long term commitment keep you from giving a few hours of your time! If every person in the community donated just a few hours a month, or one day a year, imagine what we could accomplish!

One other category I’d like to open is “Easy Access.” I am painfully aware everyday of places that are not wheelchair or walker friendly. Although businesses must meet certain “codes” it doesn’t really tell the story of how easy it is to get around. I only shop at WalMart because the electric cart and helpful associates are a blessing! The Barker Diner has no stairs, no ramps, open space and a huge bathroom that allows wheels and assistance if needed. That’s a real plus when you want to stop for a relaxed meal. I’m sure those of you with limitations have found easy access spots to dine and visit and it would be wonderful if you would share them with others! Remember, this is a good news place so negative input will be blocked.

If you have another idea for ways we can make “Sunny Side Up” a bulletin board for blessings, just log on and let me know. It’s your place as much as mine!

Have a beautiful day!

The crowd at the Mother’s Day Canal Walk was as diverse as they come. From babies in strollers to grandmas, and even canines, they sported bright pink signs that honored someone who had fought breast cancer. From my vantage point behind the specials table at the auction, I talked to folks from all over Western New York, Canada and even a couple from Missouri. For a few brief hours on Sunday they came from all walks of life to walk united in a common cause. 

The sea of cheery pink that is the signature color of the day raises hope amid the sadness for those lost to the disease that claims so many women of all ages. Still too many…and so they walk on. Mary’s Wig Room at the American Cancer Society is an awesome place that helps women maintain their appearance and dignity through rounds of drugs that at times seem worse than the disease. Named in honor of Mary Marvin, one of the originators of the Canal Walk, it is a free and unique service provided to anyone who asks. It is one more oasis of compassion and caring on the long journey faced by cancer patients.

Eight years ago, when we first started our American Cancer Society Relay For Life in Barker, the Canal Walk was already established. Lucy Burger and Kay Passuite contacted me and invited me to come to their event to reach out to survivors and to promote our own event. When you’ve been a part of it, you stay a part of it. I remember an afternoon in a driveway in Lockport (Lucy’s daughter I think) where I helped Lucy, Kay, Caroline Larkin and other breast cancer survivors make an assembly line to stuff goodie bags for walkers. To this day I remember the sharing of jokes and laughter. I remember being in awe of the strength and determination of these women,- these fiesty, battle-scarred victims of the insidious disease that knows no boundaries. I still am. They, like Mary Marvin, chose to stand up and fight and, thank God, most are still with us, walking the walk and talking the talk.

The success of yesterday’s walk can be viewed in the number of walkers, attendees and dollars raised but the true measure of its worth is in friendships forged, in a battle shared. I’ll be back in my spot behind the table next year and for as long as they’ll have me. To be a part of the event is an honor and a tonic for the soul. Life is a contact sport; you need to jump in and play it! If you’ve been sitting on the sidelines and thinking life was boring, sad or lonely, you need to lace up those sneakers, oil your walkers and get up off your good intentions. The rewards are priceless.

Getting ready for tomorrow’s program to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the first Mother’s Day celebration, I did some research on the holiday’s founder, Anna Jarvis. The history behind Mother’s Day is interesting and I found enough history to put together a brief presentation at our Barker Centennial event, but it isn’t all about Anna.

The real story behind Anna’s efforts is Ann Reeves Jarvis, her mother. It was the work her mother did and the way she lived that prompted Anna to want to honor the mother she was so proud of. Mrs. Jarvis had organized mothers during the Civil War and helped with serious social problems. Their work to improve conditions is not as well documented as the work of the suffragettes like Julia Ward Howe, but it was enough to inspire their own daughters to carry on their legacy. So much of our character, ideals and personalities are shaped by our mothers and others who act in their stead, though we don’t always want to acknowledge it.

As teenagers we  cringed when compared to our mothers, as if we could possibly have anything in common with somene who was so, well, outdated. As we grew older and began to notice the inherited mannerisms and even physical similarities, it aroused no end of angst. “I’m turning into my mother!!!”  The older we get, the more humorous it becomes as we travel the years as our mothers did, dreading the same chin hairs and vericose veins. It’s like a fun house mirror that isn’t so funny anymore. Yes, truth be known, we are now the old folks the young kids are embarrased over.

Yep, I have my mother’s body type for sure, but I started getting gray long before she did (I swear she gave me every gray hair). The things I never understood about her habits and lifestyle make perfect sense now that I am older and coping with an aging body. Some people my age have senior moments… heck, my mind goes on sabbatical right in the middle of things! I can admit, rather shame-faced and humbled, that I wish I had been a little more tolerant of her complaints when she was alive. Lord knows, I’m getting in my share of complaining these days! You can’t really understand the toll aging takes until you’ve been there.

With Mother’s Day approaching, it seems like a good time to take stock of just what our mothers have passed on. Mom’s genes may have left us with broad hips and grandma’s hairlines but what is really important is what our mothers and others have imprinted on our souls.

Thank you Mom, for being the mom who always baked cookies for school and was president of the PTA. Your spirit of volunteerism runs in my veins. Thank you for taking in relatives having hard times, and stray friends who needed a place. You taught me to always be there for family and friends. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. I try hard to do the same. Thank you for never teaching me that others were “different” even in troubling social times. From you I learned tolerance and acceptance of all people. When I remember how you transformed a lace tablecloth into my Halloween princess costume, I remember the joy in my heart from feeling so special. I try hard to make others’ wishes come true the same way. Times may have been hard in our blue-collar home at times, but there never was a shortage of love. When I bake cookies with the great nieces and nephew now, I remember the times we baked for weeks before Christmas. Those are the moments that last and I’ve tried to share them and pass them on. So many memories cherished. I try not to miss opportunities to make new memories with the young ones who will, alas, someday be old, too.

There were others as mothers. My beloved aunt and I could spend a whole day shopping, eating and still take in a movie. I remember the neighbor across the street who helped to shorten my 9th grade graduation dress and made a purse for me from the cuttings. So many wise and wonderful women invested time in me; I hope I made them proud. I am the sum of all the motherly love that was poured out over me in good times and bad and I strive to be a strong link in that chain by sharing their lessons.

Say thank you to your mom for lessons shared and sacrifices made. This weekend I hope you will also think about the sisters, aunts, teachers, cousins, neighbors and all the women along your life’s path. They may not make the history books but they are a part of your history, of who you are. Are we now equal to the task of keeping the well of motherly love primed and full for future generations? Lord willing, the well will never run dry. God Bless all mothers and others this day and everyday!

After years of wrestling with plastic wrap, waxed paper and aluminum foil that jumps out of the box with a quick yank, I try to remember to be gentle about it…to no avail. During a cookie baking spree last week for our Victorian tea, I happened to open up a new box of aluminum foil, the generic kind from WalMart. While zipping open the box, I noticed a curious X cut into the box end, with instructions to “Push tabs in to lock in roll.” In the blink of an eye I had both sets of tabs splayed inwards, securing my roll and sparing my toes. Eureka! What a simple solution to a universal problem!

A few days later, my email brought a forward from someone who had discovered the tabs on brand name and generic foil as well as plastic wrap. The writer spoke as if the tabs had been there for a long time and she had just discovered them. Well, I couldn’t believe that too many of those tabs had slipped by without my notice, so I decided to search the Internet to see if they were ever mentioned in an ad or publicity. Guess what? I couldn’t find a thing other than a mention on a rolling support  blog for Weight Watchers. It seems folks on the blog just found them as well. That begs the question “Just when did they tab our roll boxes??” How many of you noticed them?

It’s not that they have to ask our permission to alter our boxes, but when companies spend a gajillion dollars a year on advertising to get our attention, don’t you think that a discovery like this should have been announced in Prime Time? I mean, they call a product new and improved if they add the extra four digits to the company zip code on the bag. This is HUGE! Had they announced these magic tabs with the fanfare they deserved, shoppers would be crowding the aisles to poke every wrap box on the shelves. Ah, the novelty!

Whoever decided to X my box to lock my roll deserves a big reward. Are you listening, big companies? Life is full of little annoyances that we could do without and that little X took care of a big one. Stop spending all that money on top notch designers and get the guy with the exacto knife who just made my life a wee bit easier. Who knows what other great problems he can solve?

On my next supermarket trip, I’ll be looking for more roll boxes with push tabs; who cares what they are as long as they don’t pop out of the box? At last, I’ll be in control of my rolls. Now, if only I could open the plastic cereal bags without a machete…

 I’m sure you’ve seen all the cutesy or sentimental emails about “Girlfriends,” but it really is a serious subject. Girlfriends are second only to Mothers on the list of what-a-gal-needs-most-in-life. Prince Charming? Only if you can share the details and wave the diamond in front of girlfriends! It’s the girlfriends who help you survive the in-laws, golf buddies and annoying problems you never knew he had.

I had breakfast with a great gal pal today. We share a love of people, writing and food. On the rare occasions when we find time to get together, we are usually a trio. Our other gal pal writer wasn’t able to join us but that gives us an excuse to regroup in the near future. Over endless coffee refills the conversation has more twists than a slalom run; we can’t keep on topic. Everything we talk about is an instant segue to another story but neither of us mind. The absolute comfort and trust between friends means there is no mincing of words or careful thought. We just bubble over with the freedom to think and say anything we’re feeling.

Girlfriends are always good for a game of “one-up.” Say you did something really stupid and she’ll say “I can top that!” Oh, and don’t even get started about your wacky family because she’s got a hearty assortment of nuts in her family tree, too. Just when you think you’re the only one in the world who wanted to stuff Aunt Sophie into the dryer by the middle of a family gathering, your girlfriends will share their murderous thoughts about rotten relations, absolving you of guilt. They’re a gentle reminder that life can be difficult but it’s never boring! Problem kids? Jeans too tight? They don’t make your shade of hair dye anymore? Your gal pals have been there, done that, and usually have lots of sage advice on how NOT to handle it.

Want a piece of pie for dessert after breakfast? (Well, if you talk for two hours you get hungry again) Your girlfriend will have one with you so you don’t eat alone. It’s a tough job, but anything for a friend! Who else would genuinely understand or care if you confess you always wanted to be in the Roller Derby? Girlfriends are for sharing!

Now, I really understand when people use the phrase “It’s a guy thing.” Football, hunting, burping contests; they’re all yours, fellas. I just don’t think guys let down their machismo long enough to really talk about their inner desires or deepest dreams, although I’m sure they share the wacky family stories. That’s a sacred ritual that belongs to all of us.

If you’re blessed with good friends to help you laugh your way over the bumps in life’s road, you’re lucky. No matter what wacky things I subject my friends to, they’re always ready with smiles, hugs and some good advice I don’t have to take. They just have to give it; it’s what friends do.

Isn’t it time you called a girlfriend and made time to get together? We’re all so busy and stressed it’s hard to find the time and it’s what we need most! You’ll find yourself recharged, renewed and relaxed. Besides, you may get some great tips about what to with Aunt Sophie before the next family reunion!

To my girlfriends… I love you.

Setting the table for an elegant Victorian tea takes the finest of china and gleaming silver tea pots. The Community Tea Ladies are in need of silver (or silverplate) teaspoons for their charity events. They sometimes appear at yard sales or rattle around in a drawer somewhere. If you run across any, please let me know. They will go to a loving home, I assure you!

This was just the beginning of the Secret Garden in the middle of the Olcott Fire Hall last weekend. It was lovingly created by volunteers from Stedman’s Nursery as the centerpiece of a Victorian Garden Tea attended by 150 ladies (and a few gents). The tea was presented by The Community Tea Ladies to benefit the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life. Even though the garden was not complete when this photo was taken, it was absolutely breathtaking!

A long time reader, who had never met me, drew me aside at Saturday’s Victorian Tea to enquire about the wheelchair under me. Seeing a bangaged ankle, she thought it was a temporary injury that might keep me from the exploits I write about frequently. When I explained that the bandage was a chronic wound, but the chair and walker were the result of hip disintegration from over 20 years of steroids to control my Systemic Lupus, she was dumbfounded. “How do you do all those things when you are disabled?” she asked. My first thought was ‘It ain’t easy!’

In my mind I see a stately tree with one bad limb, but good roots and still growing; scarred bark, but able to offer shade and bear the fruit of kindness. Oh, don’t think for a minute that my friends don’t hear me complain. I can whine with the best of them, true to my Zodiac sign, the Crab. In the end though, I wouldn’t trade the cross I’ve been given. Would any one of us? There are people in this world truly suffering physical, mental and emotional horrors. There are those who are dependent on others or machines for everything up to the very air they breathe. Thank God I am not among them; I can only pray for an end to their plight. I have dear friends suffering through cancer, it’s treatments or other debilitating diseases. There is so much suffering. Perhaps that’s why I try to concentrate on the good news, on ability rather than disability; on what I have rather than what I lack.

Yes, I’m a gimp in a chair and it’s hard sometimes being on my own. You don’t realize how difficult everyday tasks are for the disabled until you roll a mile in their wheels. The important thing is that the wheels don’t define me. The stubborness I inherited from my Dad’s side often pushes me too far off the safe path, but I’ll keep rolling along until that doesn’t work…and then I’ll find another way to do the things I was meant to. We all have a purpose in life; you just have to find it!

The first time I watched a Challenger Baseball game there were about 50 kids of every age. The League has expanded to include many adults who have needed care all their lives. To see the absolute joy with which they live each day given to them is a humbling experience. The challenges faced by these handicapable people make me feel so blessed for the state of my own body, mind and spirit.

Yes, I am unable to do many things I would love to do again, or still, but I don’t grieve over their loss. I’ll never take that dream trip to England, Scotland and Ireland and I won’t be walking around the track at our Relay For Life. On my “bucket list” there are many things I’ll never be able to do or afford but here’s the good news.

I can share hugs (very well, if I may say so). I can smile. I can motivate others by getting them to see that all things are possible with faith. I was gifted with a talent for words that allows me to spread the good news about good people and the joy of life. I am blessed with friends who love me despite my moodiness and constant pleas for help with some cause or another. I was blessed with life today. To me, that means using my abilities to help and share in the circle of life.  When I have spent my last day on this earth, I hope it will have counted for something on the plus side of my heavenly ledger. 

Disabled? Only in technical terms. No matter where you are along life’s path, you have something to give. As long as I have the ability to give, I am whole. I am blessed.

Julie

While the heavens opened up on Saturday to produce rain and gloom, the atmosphere inside the Olcott Fire Hall was warm and inviting. 150 people came to tea to raise money for the American Cancer Society and were surprised to find  trees, flowers and arches in the middle of the hall, thanks to Colleen Gaskill and crew and lots of foliage from Stedman’s Nursery. It was our own “Secret Garden” and will be talked about endlessly over the next few days, I’m sure. The Community Tea Ladies, who are renowned for  elegant charity teas at the Van Horn Mansion, moved to the fire hall to bring in more money for the Relay For Life. Coming up with fine china, sterling silverware and linens for an extra 60 guests didn’t stop these amazing hostesses from bringing a touch of elegance to those who came out to support the fight against cancer. I am in complete awe of what they do and how they do it. Donna Aiken’s beautiful harp music was the perfect background for the angels at work.

It is hard to adequately thank people who never look for thanks! A the end of the day, surrounded by stacks of china and silver and tired volunteers, it is easy to get choked up over what was accomplished. To those who gave their time, energy and talent (oh, and dishes and cookies, too) to this event, I offer heartfelt thanks and admiration. Coming together for a cause is a sweet partnership we all benefit from and we are richer for having enlarged our circle of friends and “angels.” Bless you all for your caring and compassion for others; I am honored and humbled to be a little part of it.

To all the guests who braved the rain, bought tickets of every color, and spent the afternoon with us, we say “Thank You.” We don’t have the final dollar total just yet, but we raised a lot of money and the cancer survivors in the crowd know just how important that is. There were lots of hugs and smiles free for the taking, another extra blessing.

To all the very tired and worn out volunteers… may you find sweet dreams and refreshing sleep after your labors. Time to hang up your halos and get some sleep. You deserve it!

Julie

On May 17th, our Kahunas Relay team will be selling hot dogs from the wagon outside of Lockport WalMart. Pockets the Clown (who adores this pink web site) will be there to do balloon animals and talk to folks about the Relay For Life! Be sure to stop by from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. to buy a hot dog to support our fight against cancer, and also get some info about the family fun coming up at Relay!!