“Heart Attack Grill” not for the faint-hearted

 

An email forward of pictures of monster cheeseburgers and scantilly nurse-clad waitresses was so intriguing that I had to try to track it. Sure enough, the Heart Attack Grill does exist, in Phoenix, and they dish out a hefty portion of beef and humor. The burgers are named after heart attack surgeries, the one above being a “quadruple bypass burger.” I know, I know. All you healthy eating folks are cringing in disgust at the thought of all that cholesterol, but hold on… they advertise that their french fries are fried in pure lard!

The restaurant has gotten into trouble because their “nurses” (waitresses) in cute nurse outfits and stethoscopes, allegedly demean true nurses and mislead the customers (huh?) and they have to carry a disclaimer that thier nurses are not certified. How nutty is that?

Lest you think I’m knocking the place, I want to admit that I would LOVE to get my hands on a double-bypass burger myself (hold the onions)! I’m sure eating there every day, to the exclusion of other foods, might not be wise, but they do say they serve up the taste worth dying for! Seriously, here’s a restaurant that doesn’t pull any punches, proudly markets their product, and to hell with the food police!  I’ll bet you don’t know HALF of what you’re eating with so-called healthy food products!

The website (www.heartattackgrill.com) is hilarious, and I was instantly transported back to my youth with some old-time advertisements on their family page, touting lard and candy cigarettes. In a very tongue-in-cheek way, you realize this is no place to take the kids! Yes, we did this to ourselves over generations and it’s not any easier to give up red meat than it is cigarettes. Sure, I’d love to be able to afford a diet of prime rib and prime steak, but the classic cheeseburger is a delight for carnivores on a budget! The Heart Attack Grill takes it to epic proportions and makes no bones about it. As for the nurses, Hooters has been titillating customers for years, so what’s the difference? As a woman, I’m not offended at all. I’d just like to know if any women have tackled that quadruple-bypass burger and walked out unaided! Even I couldn’t handle that!

The email forward was titled “Only in America” and it is true that some folks are able to parlay adsurdity into profit with crazy ideas, but this isn’t all that absurd. We’re a burger-loving nation and they proudly roll out the king (and emporer) of burgers. Way to go! After seeing the stalls of fried bugs on a stick that the crowds in Bejing lined up for, I’m ready to stand up for the cheeseburger as an all-American food! Now, how can I get one one delivered from Phoenix???

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