The Chatterbox is back

Okay, okay. It seems that those who are used to my non-stop chatter on every subject cannot understand the empty blog spot. It’s inconcievable that I would run out of opinions or ideas, but I have a confession to make. I’m depressed. No, seriously…I have suffered from clinical depression for many years. It isn’t been helped by the fact that my Lupus forces me to stay out of the sunlight which helps everyone else make seratonin to feel good. Normally, medication helps to compensate for  the chemical imbalance and depression sufferers lead normal lives. Sometimes the depression wins despite the best efforts of medical science and cheerful friends.

I try very hard to surround myself with positive, caring people and the ‘good news.’ It is what keeps the sunshine in my life. For some reason, I’ve been in a darker-than-usual place for a couple of months and it’s been hard to put on a happy face. People who have been diagnosed as clinical depressive know that it can overwhelm every aspect of your life, despite medications and therapy. Those television commercials showing sad, hopeless people hiding out from life? Believe them. It happens more than you know.

Everybody gets depressed once in a while and we’re all prone to an occasional self-pity party. Most times it just takes an attitude adjustment and a little time to get over. Some of us get caught in a depressive spiral that wraps a blanket of sadness over everything. I can’t say exactly what it is or why it is, but I’ve been lugging a little dark cloud around for a couple of months and wallowing in my increasing grumpiness. I think, though, that maybe some light is beginning to peek through the clouds and it’s high time I hauled myself up out of the doldrums. I need to convince myself that I can’t help everyone or heal all the world’s problems, but it’s okay. All we can do is the best we can do.

Next week is Thanksgiving. For all that I don’t have, I am rich in so many ways. I have friends, loved ones, my faith and an interest and purpose in life. I live in the greatest country in the world and life, for all its problems and struggles, is good. I need a strong dose of positive signs that all is right with the world. Maybe I need to spend more time at the end stool at the counter at the ‘Barker mall.’  It’s the local hub- where friendship and hugs are free and plentiful. That’s the best medicine there is!


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